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For eight months, she would see dates every time she traveled for work, going on extravagant rendezvous, having intense sexual relationships, and maintaining contact with a "bench" of seven to 10 men at a time.

But since the beginning of March, everything has shifted. He attributes this to the increased anxiety about the novel coronavirus. Because she worked from home and her husband worked in an office, Nikki was able to talk to affairs partners whenever she wanted.

But quarantine orders across the country means her husband is now also working from home, and they are living with their young daughter, making it more difficult to schedule times for phone sex and completely impossible to see people in person.

However, though it's more difficult to find the time to chat with people, the year-old entrepreneur is not letting COVID stifle her sex life.

Rather than clearing her "bench" of seven men, she has instead shifted her affairs to be completely digital. Instead of hotel room meetings and fancy dinners, she's now opting for day-long sexting sessions and late-night video sex.

Because Nikki is a self-described extrovert, her husband doesn't bat an eye at her constant phone use.

Nor does he question her staying up late downstairs, where she engages in phone sex. Ashley Madison Massachusetts. Ashley Madison New Hampshire.

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Comment Thank you Respond as company Share Helpful 1. I been with Ashley Madison for about a year now and they always trying to scheme for more money.

There are so many fakes on the site. Even if you pay your fee, they're looking to get more. One thing they do is to charge Another thing they do is charge 5 credits collect when someone respond with "quick" message.

And watch out for automatic renewals they will rob you blind. I pay with PayPal and right away disable the automatic renewal.

Comment Thank you Respond as company Share Helpful 7. Also I have received responses from women who haven't read my profile and then just disappear.

You'd think AM would be trying to do a better job of being authentic after the scandal found that the majority of profiles were fake. There are real women on the site but you are going to burn through a lot of credits finding one.

Comment Thank you Respond as company Share Helpful 9. Comment Thank you Respond as company Share Helpful 4. Cant even look at a message without having to pay damn credits.

Why not make it so we can decide how many credits to buy, rather than forcing us to spend 70 Pounds? I understand they need to make money but to what end?

Im a tech savvy guy, and can tell when an account is fake, so there are plenty you scroll right passed, but that's unfortunate if they ARE legit accounts you are passing by.

I posted real pics and some private pics. So, as of you would be better off spending your money on literally anything else than Ashley Madison.

Let's face it, why would a smoking hot woman need a dating site. Tip for consumers: Don't. Comment Thank you Respond as company Share Helpful Clunky site with terrible search and absolutely no anonymity!

If you don't want to compromise your safety and privacy, just stay away. Chances are few that you will find a gem, i. But even if you do find her, she will most likely blackmail you, all they want is your money!

That's what happened in my case, so I had really poor experience with AshleyMadison women. Just stay away from them, if you don't want to put your money and safety at risk!

After you have tried the singles sites like I have something smacks u in the face! Heh wait a second y no response? Simple the site owners are brilliant!

They will never tell u when the last time the person u r looking at logged on to their site! That's it simple u pay credits to message then no response.

They make money u spent money no response the may have gotten married or stopped looking but they and the rest do this they can all go to hell!

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Nick Johnson , RoadSnacks. Their daughter has been staying with her grandmother some days in the week, so Nikki does have plenty of alone time.

Nikki said her affairs serve a more important purpose now than ever. Rather than being entirely physical, these new online relationships now serve the role of emotional support for many people stuck quarantining with spouses they are unsatisfied with.

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Close icon Two crossed lines that form an 'X'. The thing that is haunting me about Lucy's story is how lying is at the center of all of these relationships.

The first time I read it through, I kept expecting the next section to answer the question of how these men's wives felt about the affairs—or, at least, directly addressing whether or not they even knew.

At least then, these women would be given the dignity of knowing the truth, and being able to act accordingly. Keeping them in the dark is a power trip!

Ultimately, I believe that although it might be heartbreaking to have someone do something that hurts you, the thing that really damages our sense of dignity and humanity is to be treated like a second-class citizen who "can't handle the truth.

Incidentally, "can't handle the truth" usually means "would react in a way that I don't want them to. I really appreciated this perspective.

If men are partnered with women who are no longer interested in sex, why shouldn't they seek it elsewhere? It doesn't mean they don't love their wives or want to be with them.

Don't we all have friends who meet our emotional needs in a way that is different from the way we feel with our boyfriend or spouse? I love my boyfriend but I wouldn't trade my girlfriends for anything in the world.

No one person can fulfill all of our needs, and each person is in their own unique situation, complete with all the complexities of the human experience.

If they are able to have an open, honest dialogue with their partner where they explain that they don't feel like their needs are being met, and mutually agree to an open relationship, more power to them.

If, however they are lying to their spouses and exposing them unknowingly to health risks as well as the devastation that can come from that kind of a betrayal of trust, then they are just behaving like dishonest, selfish, cowards.

I agree with this comment wholeheartedly — Thank you for articulating exactly what I was thinking. Anon, The True Story series is about hearing different people's approaches to life and asking the questions we usually 'can't' ask because it's not socially appropriate.

For me, this is a topic that falls under that heading. I'm with Sarah. This was interesting depressing? I look forward to this series when I see it in my reader and clearly popped over to see the comments for this one!

I'm also with Sarah. These are realities that I and I expect most of us don't get exposed to — It's great to have a forum where our worldview gets challenged just a little.

We don't have to agree with a perspective or reality that's presented, but they do exist and are equally legitimate realities. I think we are all better people for engaging with each other with respect and intent, and learning the others' viewpoints rather than stay in our isolated bubbles.

I never expected to be in this situation, but it is something that is out there and I thought Sarah's readers might find it interesting.

There is so much more going on out there than most people would know! I really love this blog, and have met Sarah and she's a gem. In some ways I kind of agree that this space shouldn't entertain stuff like this.

But it's not my space, and it's okay that Sarah has her own ideas for what to post. I actually think the more we talk about sexual brokenness, the more we can bring healing and truth.

Dark stuff survives because it lives in the dark. Maybe reading these comments by articulate, kind women will inspire Lucy to alter her choices.

I wrote a reply earlier, and then the story stuck with me during the day. I am wondering if Lucy is a real person — many of the things she says are right off the Ashley Madison commercials and promotional flyers her self-description, justification of cheating, description of the men, mentioning it is free for women.

Anon, I can tell you that Lucy has her own blog and a 'real-sounding' email address. Her blog contains little-to-no mentions or links to Ashley Madison and it's not designed in such a way or has the following that would make one think it's part of some gorilla marketing campaign.

I always read these 'True Story' posts, but have never responded. Much like most of the other commenters, I really implore Lucy to take another look at this situation.

At least three of the wives are having THEIR choices taken away from them, because their husband and Lucy have decided that they know better than she.

I will even go so far as to question how truthful the man in the "open marriage" is being. I'd be willing to bet that his wife isn't as aware of her open marriage as Lucy may have been led to believe.

My father cheated on my mother with multiple women. Some that he literally met at diners while he was traveling.

The kicker was when he slept with my 19 year old babysitter. I was 6 when she caught them, the whole sordid trail of women came out, and she divorced him.

My mom then underwent heavy STD testing because she truly didn't know who she'd been sleeping with, by proxy.

I will say this, as painful as their divorce was it was UGLY , it ultimately was the best thing that happened to my mother and I. Their marriage was toxic….

Neither deserve it…. HE is the one who is making the decision to throw away his marriage. Plenty of women have decided to stay in a marriage, knowing their husbands slept with other women.

Regardless of the decision, they have a right to be able to make it. What stands out to me is 'it ultimately was the best thing that happened to my mother and I'.

Lots of people get married for the wrong reasons. Lots of people get married for the right reasons and things change. If a relationship is perfect the vast majority of people won't cheat.

A thought — if someone is considering leaving a relationship because something in it is missing or unfulfilling in the present case, sex should they leave, destroy the family, and then see if adding in that aspect makes them happy?

Or is it maybe okay to try it out, and if it doesn't make things better for instance there are other underlying issues stay in the marriage and try to find other ways to make it work?

I'm not trying to say I'm doing a good deed or anything of the sort — I am sleeping with these men for purely selfish reasons — but I think this perspective may be valid.

Again, that perspective is completely one-sided and strips the other person in the relationship of their right to choose whether or not they are comfortable with having their partner explore sex outside of the relationship.

It displays a total lack of respect for the other person in the relationship and, if sexual exclusivity is something the people in the relationship agreed to, it's a total breach of trust.

There are not only two options in this situation. It's not only A. Leave and destroy the family or B. Lie to and cheat on your partner.

There is a third option. Have the yes, maybe difficult honest conversation with your partner about how things aren't working for you and why, and work together to figure out what the best solution for both of you is.

If that's not something you're capable of, then you really do need to leave, because you are not equipped to be in a relationship if you're not capable of having a difficult conversation and being honest with your partner when the need arises.

Cheating isn't a solution to anything. It's an ineffective bandaid and a cowardly escape. Late in replying to Lucy… But, no, it isn't ok to "try out" another way if that way includes lying and cheating.

Why should the person get to "try out" a different life and then decide they like the one they have, all on their own?

It is completely disrespectful of the other person in the relationship. Grow up and be honest.

Or, get out. But, don't think that any favors are being done by taking someone else for a test drive, without your partner's knowledge or consent.

Honestly, in my view, Ashley Madison is an extension of the rape culture we live in. Let me be clear — rape culture is not just about rape.

No one is getting raped here in this story. It is destructive. No one gets to have sex with other people without the consent of everyone that sex directly affects.

Anything without full consent is wrong. And here, the sex directly affects the women who agreed to a monogamous relationship, and they have not consented.

It doesn't matter, even a little, if you believe that people weren't "built" for monogamy I'd argue we weren't built for avoiding stealing and killing either, yet we do — so talking about people are imposing their own morals is ridiculous — everyone imposes their morals somewhere, but that's a separate issue.

What matters is that if someone agrees to monogamy, the other person has a right to know if their agreement is not being honored especially considering the health, familial, and financial consequences.

If you want to take love completely out of the equation — if you make a contract with someone, it doesn't matter what that contract is or whether other people think it's fair or right.

It matters that you agreed to it. If you want to negotiate the terms, you need to go to the other party and negotiate.

These men don't have a right to violate the contract without notifying the other party. It is wrong to have sex without the full consent of everyone involved.

It is hurtful to men and women everywhere to continue to live in a world where men and women are rewarded for seeking sex without consent.

That is what rape culture is built on. It needs to stop. That's like saying it's okay for me to steal a Mercedes and test it out to see if I really want to go back and buy it.

That's not how it works. You honor your agreements. If you want to test something out, you go to the person who you made your agreement with and you work out a testing period.

End of story. Full stop. Anything you are unwilling to disclose to close friends should be examined very, very carefully for WHY you wouldn't want to tell friends.

She claims that her friends would not understand, however the truth is more likely that they would understand perfectly: Lucy is doing something wrong and she doesn't care about the devastation that may result.

Of course she wants to hide that from people. This post made me really sad — both for the innocent kids and the cheated on spouses who haven't been given a fair choice.

I think people should treat each other better than this, and I think Ashley Madison is a disgusting organization. Oh, I definitely know that what I'm doing isn't 'right' or 'okay' — same reason most people wouldn't tell their parents over Sunday brunch 'so I tried heroin last night!

It was awesome! Hey, 'Lucy' here! I expected that my interview would get some strong reactions, and I want to thank everyone who has written for keeping their comments reasonably respectful I didn't think Sarah's readers would be of the 'u bitch u shuld go str8 to hell' ilk, but you never know.

I'm just going to kind of respond generally to the comments, because many of them are expressing their own opinions on the issues, but if there are any specific questions, feel free to comment more and I'll consider them.

First of all, I want everyone to know that I in no way think that what I am doing is a joke, or no big deal.

Very true. I also have been tested for STIs regularly. Also, I am not looking for relationships with any of these men. This is not in any way a justification, but I also think the fact that I met these men on a cheating website does factor in.

Not that it makes things okay, of course, but I do think it should be noted. I never expected myself to be in this situation, but there are surprisingly a lot of people doing this out there and I thought it might be interesting for others to read about!

There seems to be a real disconnect to what you're saying here. You say you understand that lives can be torn about by the actions you are a very direct part of, yet you say you don't want anyone to be hurt.

So why risk it? Is the sex just that spectacular or is there just a thrill in thinking you've got one up on another woman because she's being fooled and you believe you're in on the secret and not being fooled yourself?

Would you be able to feel as ok as you do now about sleeping with a man if it turned out you knew his wife? If she was a lovely acquaintance or a friend of yours?

Or is it because the women who are being lied to and stand to be hurt by your actions are an abstract concept to you, because you assume you'll never have to actually see or deal with their pain should their lives be, as you say, torn apart by this despite your skill at helping to fool them with your careful texting rules, that you're able to feel ok about being complicit in lying and cheating?

I agree, there definitely is a disconnect. I don't fully understand this myself! I have looked myself in the mirror many times and thought 'what are you doing?

Don't you know people can get hurt? I don't believe that what I'm doing is intrinsically 'wrong' but I do know that there can be very serious consequences.

At some point I'm sure I will stop. At this point I'm only seeing one of my lovers with regularity but they're all still in my life in some way.

While your question about where I draw the line is a little scathing, that definitely would be where the line is drawn. Right or wrong, these women and children are abstract concepts to me.

Quite honestly it's not something I think about. It's like anyone else you know in one part of your life — when you talk to a co-worker you may know they have a spouse and children, you may even know their spouse and children, but when you're chatting with them about the movie you saw this weekend you're not thinking 'I wonder if their husband was with them when they saw it' It's just a non-issue.

Right or wrong, awful or not I'm guessing most people think wrong and awful! If I met their wives…honestly if it was just a brief meeting, a 'hello, how are you' I might find it a thrill.

If I got to know them I can't imagine a situation where this would happen I would probably call it off. Surely there are plenty of single guys not looking for a relationship who could provide you with the attention you're looking for and "desire you" in the way you crave.

God knows I encountered my fair share of them during my foray into the world of online dating. Why sign up for a service where there are all damn kinds of strings to get tangled up in, in the form of these men's lies to their families?

Lucy I appreciate you sharing with us your experience. You don't "owe it" to the internet to talk about this, so I guess I should say thanks for at least chancing to put this out there.

I applaud you for being open about your lack of clarity on this issue in places. Here's my thought: Your actions are centered on your own self.

I am not saying this in a judgy, YouTube-commenter "ur so selfcenterd" kind of way. But you said right there above — you're only thinking about how it feels for you.

The women are abstractions to you. And you said yourself, if they ceased to become abstractions, you would stop. Does that not bother you?

That you are okay inflicting something on someone else as long as you don't have to see it up close? Honestly to me that comes from the same human place as the ability to order the death, torture, or displacement of other humans — when we're detached from suffering we aren't too bothered by it.

What do you call a person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience….

Goodness, I have too many thoughts on this, but I don't feel like typing them all. Also, Lucy likely won't change her mind on this anyway, so what's the point?

It sounds like you're exposing yourself to TONS of sexual partners and that is the part that creeps me out the most here.

Just a thought. I too have experienced being cheated on and it is the thing that once you experience it you have zero tolerance for the people that do it.

I realized over time though that people always say its about sex, and finding a person with a compatible sex drive, and the excitement of it and blah blah blah, but in the case of both my partner, the other woman and everyone else I know who's ever knowingly cheated, its not about the sex, its about insecurities, emotional problems, depression and whatever else.

People that cheat are very sad pathetic people who are looking to augment their unhappiness in any way possible. Its the same reason people become alcoholics or get into drugs.

And one of the biggest things unhappy people do is seek to blame everyone around them for their unhappiness. That's how you get these men saying its their wives and girlfriends faults, because they don't have the courage to look within and realize that its no ones fault but their own that they are unhappy.

I have no respect for anyone involved in cheating, even if you are the third party, and instead I feel sorry for you, because you must have a truly sad life if you need to do something like that to feel good about yourself.

I've played every part of the cheating fiasco at some point in my life cheater, cheatee, and third party mistress , and ugh, I'm so glad I'm out of that, and I sure hope it's never in my life again.

I would love Lucy to address why she specifically focused on married men on Ashley Madison. Also, now that she's into things with a dom, does she foresee leaving the married men behind and focusing on getting her kicks in the BSDM world instead sorry, I don't even know the acronym lol.

Also, I'm really enjoying this great conversation that's remained quite respectful. Go Yes and Yes readers! This is heartbreaking. I know I'm not the usual demographic of reader here: I'm a very strong Christian, but I also define myself as open minded and feminist to a certain extent.

As I read this interview my heart broke for Lucy:. To me and I'm not expert on this issue it sends up a few red flags. Are you seeking relationships with married men because you've given up hope in finding someone that like you said loves you as much as you love them?

Certainly no one needs to share every detail of their personal lives with their community, but it's another red flag to me that you're not choosing to be authentic with those close to you.

Do you want to be found out? I guess I wondering if you really wanted to keep it secret why you'd agree to interview on this blog.

If you're so sure you can stop, why don't you? I guess in my opinion what I'm reading here is someone who is hurting. And that's okay. I hope you can someday understand how destructive, selfish, and serious your choices are.

I hope you can get to the bottom of your pain and hurt and find solace for that instead of having sex with married men and contributing to breaking apart families and society.

I want you to know there is another option, this doesn't have to be part of your story. I won't go into personal faith stuff in this comment section, but you can e-mail me if you'd like to: creolewisdom gmail.

There is so much sexual brokenness in our world and I have such a difficult time with websites like Ashley Madison and men and women who choose to break their wedding vows or those of others.

People deserve so much better than this. I think you brought up an interesting point. I'm not saying they should be judgey or slut-shame because I don't agree with judging the past of people you are supposed to love.

HOWEVER, it will be very hard to assimilate this information and they will probably always wonder if this person will cheat again since it was done so easily in the past.

It's particularly troublesome when you have Lucy here saying she doesn't understand why she's doing this. If you don't examine actions that hurt others you won't learn from them and you'll just keep hurting people.

No matter what our past sexual and relationship choices do affect our future ones. I don't believe in shaming I don't believe that's an emotion that comes from God or Jesus, actually!

I don't really view it as a faith perspective per se. To me that would be more like quoting the bible or saying do this because god wants you to. Everything you said is just basic human decency.

While my views on sexuality don't match up completely with the bible, I do see why major religions warn people about sex.

I think you can and should find a way to have a healthy sex life where people are not getting hurt, and I don't think it takes a lot of effort.

I think sex is often abused by people like drugs to avoid dealing with pain in their lives. It's sad. I just feel badly for everyone is this scenario and particularly any children.

My perspective def. You're so right about faiths warning people about the consequences of sexual behavior.

After all, in my opinion, He's the one who designed sex in the first place. There are quite a few studies out there and I'm not going to go out and find them, that state that Christians and specifically Christian women have the highest levels of sexual satisfaction.

I also believe that it's not all about fulfilling sex, it's also about feeling safe, loved, and cared for in a relationship.

I think people really settle for whatever pieces of that they can get, because let's face it: finding a partner who can give us more than a bit of that is hard to find, we're all dealing with our own junk, and it can feel discouraging.

Absolutely people use sex inappropriately like drugs or alcohol. To me, and I think many other Christians would agree, sex is not the problem at all— it's how it can be used and abused that is the problem.

Sex is the most intimate act we can experience as humans which is why I feel it is so sacred and also so misused and abused.

Hello Creole wisdom. Your post is thoughtful and well spoken; there is a lot Lucy seems to be ignoring or just not thinking about. Has she responded to you and answered some of your questions?

I'd also like to know why Lucy has chosen to focus on married men, when there are plenty of single men in the world that can provide just sex without the 'extras' for Lucy.

I think she has also forgotten the power of karma as well as the saying 'what goes around comes around. Right and marries him; sometime down the road he will do to her what she has done to other women.

I know more than one woman who ended up marring a man she 'stole' from another woman. They failed to think another woman could steal him away just as she had done; now they are both single or unhappy as karma has caught up to them.

This is SUCH an interesting to say the least topic and discussion. While I don't agree with Lucy's choices and actions, I think it's good she was open to sharing this side of her life.

I remember hearing the CEO of Ashley Madison on a radio show once and he justified the website by saying, "People who are looking to cheat will find a way regardless if this site exists or not.

This is just another way for them to do what they were going to do anyway, but with like-minded people. Because I do think it's true, these men would have cheated with someone else if not you.

I think that's an easy way to escape the guilt of these relationships because it puts the blame on the person doing the cheating. I have a friend who slept with a married man years ago she was single while on vacation.

It was a one time thing but she decided to tell her fiancee before they got married. She's changed a lot since then and I know she'd never do it again so I was surprised that she told him.

Would you share this with a future boyfriend? I read this post a couple days ago, and it was interesting how at first I was just super critical in my mind of all five people in the scenario and even of Sarah for posting it and I just sort of felt dirty for even reading it.

However, as I let it sink in that this is a huge part of the world I live in, I've come to a different takeaway from reading Lucy's story:.

As a wife married 19 years and often tired mother of four children, if I want to continue to have a thriving, healthy marriage, it is not ever going to be ok to let my sex life slide to a permanent spot on the back burner.

As a single 50 year old woman with 3 married lovers who all claim to be in sexless marriages, this is the best post I have seen regarding this subject!

I would not be in bed with these men if their wives were! It is all so simple, and right there for everyone to see. They would not have been on Ashley Madison looking for sex if they were getting it at home.

So it appears we have a lot of women on here. And many angry women. So probably not a lot of men even go near a blog like this. First I have to agree that bad part of cheating is the lying.

And I agree that lying from a spouse in a committed relationship can be very hurtful and damaging. I know I have been there. Unfortunately this happens all of the time.

Not just a common thing but a very common thing. The not lying or even fidelity is the exception. Just think of that for a minute if you are in a room with 10 people only two have not cheated.

What is the norm and what is the exception. Now I know that just because a lot of people do something does not make it right. But at what point to we ask ourselves where is the deviancy here?

Then there is the lying. The average person tells 4 lies per day. I know I know…no one on this blog ever cheated, or would be in an affair, and we all do not tell lies.

That is those other lesser people right? Look around you. Open your eyes. We were never meant to marry someone and be with them romantically in love, in the confines of a legal marriage that punishes you if you leave it for upwards of years.

What kind of craziness is this? What are we doing to ourselves? Once again I implore you. Look around. Look at history. Most of society has accepted affairs outside of marriage except for our society.

This is common and accepted all around the world. Even in this country it is a very recent phenomenon. I'd encourage you to seek some better sources for your statistics.

I don't understand the "look at history" argument, either. Okay, let's look at history. What does it include? All a product of human nature, happening independently in a number of cultures.

Just because it's a "recent phenomenon" that we've started to condemn these things does not mean that it's some artificial stricture on humans.

It means we're saying it's not okay to do things to people without their consent, period. We are becoming better at being humans. You don't want to be in a legal monogamous marriage?

Then don't agree to one! Everything has to be based on consent. Find someone who does not expect monogamy and marry them. Find one of the millions of people who you apparently think think it's okay.

Marry one of them. But don't go to someone who does expect monogamy and say they shouldn't expect it — if it's what they agreed to, they deserve to know if their agreement isn't being upheld.

Also…monogamy HAS been expected for millenia — just usually on the part of women, not usually men. Humans have been around for about , years like we are now.

For that period of time. We did not even have marriage for about , years. Then the last years it has been a legal contract.

A business deal. Love did not even enter into it until about years ago. Throughout most of time people both men and women had many sexual partners.

Then we changed we got more civilized and we claimed an ownership perspective to sexual partners and added monogamy.

This made this complicated since we are not monogamous creatures. We are sexual creatures designed to have lots of sex with lots of other people.

Now I know this makes some of you feel ill. But it does not change the facts. Denying that is like denying that we need oxygen.

And has the same serious consequences. Oh but it is the lying that is so bad. We had an agreement. I cannot tell you how many women have lied to me and how many ways they do it.

My wife broke just about every agreement we had after we were married. Other than cheating. Some of it hurt and some of it made me ill.

Still today. I consider myself a very transparent and honest person and I am always upfront with the women I date and never try to hide anything from them.

And what I usually encounter in return is. Lies, deception, false expectations, manipulation, disrespect for other peoples feelings.

Now not all women are like that. And not all men cheat. But once again. We call marriage. What do you expect people to do. But a deal is a deal you say.

How many people are even given a taste of what our true human nature and sexual identity is? Let alone a 20 something who thinks they are in love and is ready to get married.

Talk about not being a part to the decisions of a marriage. You dont even know the ground rules of their own nature from the beginning.

They have no clue what they are getting into.

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